Productivity Hacks for the Utterly Inept

Because who needs human intelligence when you can have a bunch of tricks?

1. The Pomodoro Technique for the Utterly Inept

Work in 5-minute increments, with a mandatory 3-minute break in between. Repeat for 8 hours straight.

Why bother with focus when you can just focus on the focus timer?

2. Eat a Whole Jar of Wasabi in One Sitting

For the ultimate productivity boost, combine the pain of eating a whole jar of wasabi with the satisfaction of a well-crafted to-do list.

3. Use Your Cat as a Personal Assistant

Talk to them, they're good listeners. Tell them your deepest fears, your wildest dreams, or your to-do list. They're not judging.

They'll even provide moral support, as long as you're feeding them.